Life isn't going to slow down. I keep thinking it is, but the reality is that life is just going to get more chaotic. When you love others, when you desire real friendships and real community, then life is messy. And the deeper you love, the more you choose to give your life away on behalf of others (because really, that's what true love is), the harder life gets.
I'm in a season of life where there is ALWAYS more to do than time in the day. I stay up too late, get up too early, and still the to-do list just gets longer. There are days that I let myself get sucked into the crazy, where I let the stress seep into my words and actions. Where I'm sure my frizzy hair and twitching eye show a physical manifestation of the chaos I'm feeling inside.
But I'm learning (ever so slowly) that if I think it's okay to snap at my husband or ignore my kids because I have "a lot to do", then I will spend my entire life snapping at my husband and ignoring my kids. And I'd miss out on life. Because life isn't in the to-do list. It's not about actions and accomplishments. Life is about relationships. When Jesus was asked what the number one, most important commandment we can keep, his response was that we are to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength and love our neighbor as ourselves. That's it. Love God with our EVERYTHING and love others. Love God. Love Others. This should be my mantra. Everytime I sit down to send an important email or check something for the adoption online and my sweet 5 year old wants nothing more than to cuddle on his momma's lap, do I choose my agenda or his relationship? Do I choose accomplishments or people?
It's amazing how hard that choice can be sometimes. But the choice I make models my beliefs in who God is. Do I see God as an authoritarian who needs me to prove my worth by my actions? Or do I see Him as a loving Father who wants nothing more than for his sweet daughter to curl up on His lap and share her heart with Him. Don't get me wrong. Jesus is King. He is my authority. His is the Lion of Judah. There is work that is required of those who choose to follow after Him. But He is also my Father. My protector. The Lamb of God. He is both Daddy and King. And the more deeply I grasp that, the more peace I can find in the chaos. Because the chaos isn't going anywhere, but in the middle of the storm, there can be peace.
Love God. Love Others…. Love God. Love Others… Love God. Love Others.
Sweet Jesus, Help me to choose to love. Help me to choose relationships. You laid down your life out of love for me. Help me to lay down my agenda out of love for you and for those whom you have put in my life. Today, help me to choose love. Amen.
