When you choose to become a parent, you know there are some things you are giving up. But, I don't think I was prepared for the total lack of privacy when there are kids around. Yesterday morning, I jumped in for a quick shower. The boys came barging in (okay... the DID knock first) so excited to share a song with me. I tried to explain that maybe we could wait just a few minutes for me to finish. I don't think they heard a word I said. They were too busy getting set up. A plugged in a CD player which he propped up on the toilet. Then he grabbed a guitar while C grabbed another instrument. They seriously set up a band... in the bathroom... while I was taking a shower. I enjoyed my serenade, but did cut them off by song #3 :)
Monday, March 18, 2013
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Not perfect
There's something that has been on my heart that I wanted to share. Mostly, I'm just sharing it with myself since the purpose of this blog is to document what's going on with our family. But if you happen to be reading this, here's a little glimpse into my thoughts.
When people hear that we are adopting... and even more-so that we are adopting a sibling group of two (or three!)... they so often respond with something like, "That's so great. I mean, we could never do that, but it's great that you are" or "I'm sure you can handle it. We couldn't parent that many kids well, but I am sure you can." And I get this. I totally understand what they are saying. There are certainly times when I think we're crazy. Seriously. Within the next few months, we are doubling (or more than!) the number of kids in our family. Not only that, but the kids that are coming home may have a ton of baggage from being raised in an institution and losing loved ones. When I really sit and think of what is coming, it can be paralyzing. So I get that other people think they could never take on more kids, especially ones that will be so unpredictable.
But here's what's been on my mind so much. We can't do it either. I don't have the energy or the patience to deal with two kids, much less four or five! And Lord help me if we end up with five boys! I'm not a perfect mom. Far from it. There are so many times that I don't do what I know I should do for them or that I respond to them in a way that is not loving or respectful. BUT, even though I am not perfect, I am at least better than nothing. I am convinced that many times I will screw up when it comes to parenting these kids. But I am also convinced that an average mom is still better than no mom. As my sweet friend, E, said the other day, "I may feed them mac and cheese... Kraft, even... every day, but at least it's better than sleeping on a cement floor or not eating anything."
I know that adoption isn't for everyone. But I do know that God commands us to care for the orphaned and widowed (James 1:27) and to speak up for those who have no voice (Proverbs 31:8). For us, that looks like adopting and sharing our story. What does it look like for you? Could it be that God is calling you to adopt, too? Or maybe to help out someone that is? Or get trained to foster kids? Or even mentor a child?
When people hear that we are adopting... and even more-so that we are adopting a sibling group of two (or three!)... they so often respond with something like, "That's so great. I mean, we could never do that, but it's great that you are" or "I'm sure you can handle it. We couldn't parent that many kids well, but I am sure you can." And I get this. I totally understand what they are saying. There are certainly times when I think we're crazy. Seriously. Within the next few months, we are doubling (or more than!) the number of kids in our family. Not only that, but the kids that are coming home may have a ton of baggage from being raised in an institution and losing loved ones. When I really sit and think of what is coming, it can be paralyzing. So I get that other people think they could never take on more kids, especially ones that will be so unpredictable.
But here's what's been on my mind so much. We can't do it either. I don't have the energy or the patience to deal with two kids, much less four or five! And Lord help me if we end up with five boys! I'm not a perfect mom. Far from it. There are so many times that I don't do what I know I should do for them or that I respond to them in a way that is not loving or respectful. BUT, even though I am not perfect, I am at least better than nothing. I am convinced that many times I will screw up when it comes to parenting these kids. But I am also convinced that an average mom is still better than no mom. As my sweet friend, E, said the other day, "I may feed them mac and cheese... Kraft, even... every day, but at least it's better than sleeping on a cement floor or not eating anything."
I know that adoption isn't for everyone. But I do know that God commands us to care for the orphaned and widowed (James 1:27) and to speak up for those who have no voice (Proverbs 31:8). For us, that looks like adopting and sharing our story. What does it look like for you? Could it be that God is calling you to adopt, too? Or maybe to help out someone that is? Or get trained to foster kids? Or even mentor a child?
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